Odd Product Hall of Fame: Instant Civil War Capsules

So many times I have found myself saying, “I need a Civil War fix and I need it instantly!” If I lived in northern Virginia or next-door to Ken Burns it wouldn’t be a problem. But as a New York resident, my options for reliving the American Civil War are both limited and time-consuming. The nearest significant battlefield historic site is Gettysburg, which is roughly a 5-hour drive away. Civil War movies are available on Netflix, but how many times can one suspend disbelief that the commanding officer in Glory is anything other than just Ferris Bueller with a silly hat and weird facial hair? Trolling fans of SEC football teams on message boards can be a fun way to sir up latent Southern animosity toward Yankees like me and hear echoes of the Confederate rhetoric of yesteryear but that takes a lot of time and, ultimately, you realize that the person on the other end of the flame war probably looks the guy pictured below and it all starts to feel very sad.

Stonewall Jackson he ain’t.

And so it was that for many years following 1865, people in my situation who wanted an immediate experience involving The War Between the States were simply out of luck. But then came Instant Civil War Capsules…

Finally, a non-toxic pill that allows the user to “drop the capsule in warm water and watch Civil War appear!” What could be more awesome than that?

Of course some of you are skeptical. You’re wondering if the product can actually deliver on such a grandiose promise. Here’s a YouTube video from a user that will put those doubts to rest:

After seeing those capsules transform, you can practically hear the boom of the cannons, the piercing Rebel Yells and the tragic drum beats beckoning brother to fight against brother, can’t you? All for just $5.00.

For helping Americans to understand their heritage through water-activated foam shapes that spring to life instantly (well, sort of), we humbly induct Instant Civil War, both the blue and the gray capsules alike, into the Odd Product Hall of Fame. And to celebrate, we leave you with a song — one that you will no doubt want to have playing in the background when you drop your capsules into the water…


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